Now that you are calmly and willingly accepting yourself and your reaction, thinking about what it is you are expecting to happen in any given situation – and what control you have in it – it’s now time to be really curious.
Suspend your need for cynical disbelief and take your time to have a really good look at what is happening. Don’t settle for your first impression or explanation: these tend to be emotional in nature. That means that you’ll continue to describe things in global, permanent and pervasive terms (which, incidentally, are some of the hallmarks of the ‘explanatory style’ seen in people who are experiencing depression).
Look from the general to the specific. If you have made a mistake, recognize the emotional tendency to apply emotional all-or-nothing thinking, such as “I always make mistakes”, “I’m not good at this”, and “I’ll never be any good at it”. Instead, think about the times you have been successful at even the smallest thing, ask yourself what does ‘good’ look like, and what it would take to make an improvement.
If your curiosity leads you to your passion, you’ll soon discover what is really important to you – what you value.
Success is not final; failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill
Photo by José Ramon Martinez on Unsplash